Where is home?

I am really excited in writing this as I have always had an inner battle in who I am. In other words, my own identity. All the cultural differences of being raised by an English father and a Spanish mother has undoubtedly shaped my personality. I guess I have to trace back into my own memories as a small child to understand and describe this struggle.

I suppose I can start by saying that since the first defining steps of my life, I have felt different to the rest. The outcome of this is an amazing emotional roller coaster ride with ups and downs. Starting by being really blonde (not common for Spanish boys) when I was a young boy, to having to follow a strict English timetable imposed by my Dad in my early teens.

It is also probably important to mention that after I was born in Madrid (Spain), I went to live to Saudi Arabia for six months. I don´t remember anything about that of course. Afterwards, my parents decided to try their luck in Spain again. So there I was, in Spain, hardly a year old, starting my adventure in life. 

I remember my family and school as the first moments of realization of being different to the common standard Spanish families. Also, just the fact that I could speak two languages, was the first sign of difference among the rest. This has always given me a sense of being special, of being different. Also, travelling to England and meeting my father´s family contributed to this.

I know that as I have grown older, I have come to accept this as something very positive. However, this has never always been the case. In fact, there have been many moments that I can remember when I didn´t want to feel different to the rest. As a consequence of this, my teenage years were full of dramatic arguments with both my parents. 

For years and years, people have been telling me how lucky I was. This frustrated me a lot because in many ways at the time, I didn't see it as an advantage whatsoever. I felt like I didn't belong anywhere. In other words, I was lost in between two different cultures. In Spain, I am reminded of my English roots and vice-versa. In fact, my group of friends from my hometown, nicknamed me the `english´ (El Inglés). 

The difference in cultures has affected my education and how I think. That is a fact. It has made me who I am and now I can say that I am really proud of having influences from two different countries. It has shaped my personality and my attitude to life. I would say that I have fusioned the societal values of both of them. The line is so fine, that sometimes it is unclear where the influence comes from.

However, I find this irrelevant actually. For me, it is not important finding out what percentage of influence I have from one culture or the other. I have created my own. I have taken bits and pieces from both. Some things I like more from one and some other things I like more from the other. It is not a question of better or worse. There are just certain differences.

Now, I am person that loves to travel and experience new cultures and meet people from all over the world. I can also say now that I am really lucky in knowing two of the most spoken languages in the world which allows me to interact with pretty much any person in this planet. I believe that I am who I am because of all the different interactions and relations I have had. 

Therefore, I consider myself to be a human being, like everybody else. I belong to this amazing planet. My home is everywhere. My home is there where I feel comfortable and loved by the people I surround myself with. One thing I have learned about myself is that can I adapt to any kind of situation. For sure, that I have to be grateful for being bilingual and being a product of two cultures to be open, tolerant and acceptant to every culture that share this world.

I wouldn´t change who I am for anything in the world. It has defined me up till now and it will for sure, keep doing so in the future. 

Christian Walker